


Bang

by LunaaHawke



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blood, Guns, M/M, Modern Era, One Shot, One Shot Collection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-17
Updated: 2016-02-17
Packaged: 2018-05-21 05:29:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6040060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunaaHawke/pseuds/LunaaHawke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fen's past comes back to haunt him and Garrett Hawke pays the price.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bang

**Author's Note:**

> I already included it in the archive warnings, but I feel the need to re-iterate here. There is a major character death in this fic, then graphic descriptions of the pain of grief afterwards. It's hard to read, so continue at your own risk.

_Bang._

The sound of the gun going off pierced through Fen’s mind like a razor. The world went silent, an eerie peace settling over the street as the sound faded from Fen’s ears. His heart was still as he processed the situation—a girl with red hair and tattoos of intricate lines that matched his own stood at the corner of the street, gun pointed straight towards him. And then there was Garrett, standing in front of him, his back to him.

“Garrett? Are you—“

Garrett turned and offered a weak smile before he coughed, blood flying from his mouth.

Fen’s heart picked up double-time at the sight of Garrett coughing blood. He chanced a glance down and felt bile rise in his throat. Garrett had a hand over his stomach; blood was seeping through his fingers. _No,_ Fen thought, _no no no._

Fen rushed forward to catch Garrett as he collapsed. He barely took notice of the girl with the matching tattoos turning to run in the opposite direction—his mind was solely on Garrett and keeping him alive. He caught Garrett easily enough, arranging his body so that Garrett could rest his head on Fen’s legs. Garrett’s eyes were searching, searching, searching—finally coming to a rest when they met Fen’s terrified gaze.

“Garrett—“ Fen choked back a sob. He knew what was coming, he could very clearly see that the bullet had pierced through Garrett’s body near his lung—probably damaging his lung in the process. It wouldn’t be long before Garrett was dead, and there was nothing that Fen could do about it.

“Hush, love,” Garrett whispered, reaching a bloodied hand to Fen’s face. Fen leaned in to Garrett’s touch, craving it in this instant of uncertainty. Fen didn’t know what to do. _God, help me. I don’t know what to do. I have to save Garrett. I don’t know what to do._

“I don’t know what to do,” Fen sobbed, tears streaming freely down his face. Garrett was dying and there was nothing he could do.

“Mmm..” Garrett sighed, his hand dropping from Fen’s face. He studied Fen’s face for a moment before smiling a weak smile, “Just kiss it all better, love.”

Fen stared at Garrett for a moment in disbelief. Garrett was _dying,_ yet here he was cracking jokes. “You idiot,” Fen mumbled, “You know that I can’t..”

Garrett sighed, “I know. It’s not your fault, love, you didn’t know—“ Suddenly he was coughing again, a steady stream of blood coming from his mouth. That was all the proof that Fen needed in order to know that the bullet had pierced Garrett’s lung—and now Garrett was drowning in his own blood. Fen held tightly to Garrett as he continued to cough. He knew Garrett was dying but he had to hold himself together for _him._

After the coughing subsided, Garrett winced, letting his head rest back on Fen’s legs. There was a pool of blood around Garrett now and Fen did all he could not to look at it. Suddenly, Garrett grabbed Fen’s hand tightly. His eyes widened in fear as he clung to Fen’s hand, “I’m not ready to go, Fen. I’m scared.”

 _Don’t go. Please don’t leave me,_ Fen wanted to say. He held these words back, held back his own cry of anguish. He held Garrett tighter, “I know, love..” he whispered. “I’m here. Everything will be alright.”

_How fucking lame is that? What the fuck am I supposed to do? What the fuck? What the fuck? WHAT THE FUCK?_

Red and blue lights began to reflect off the walls around them. Someone had seen what had happened and called the cops, then. Fen tightened his grip on Garrett as another coughing fit hit and then—nothing. Suddenly, just like that, Garrett wasn’t breathing anymore.

“Garrett?” Fen asked, fearing the answer to his unasked question. No answer.

“Garrett?” he asked again, a hint of pleading in his voice now. No answer.

“ _Garrett?”_ he asked again, desperation and panic edging into his voice.  Still, no anwer.

” _Garrett!”_ Fen screamed, letting out an anguished cry and beginning to shake Garrett’s now-lifeless body. ”Garrett, don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me! Please!”

Suddenly, there was someone running up behind him, putting a hand on his shoulder to pull him back.

“ _Don’t touch me!”_ he screamed, shrugging off the person’s hand and holding onto Garrett tighter. Then there was a pair of hands on his shoulders, pulling him back. Then another. He fought them all. Garrett wasn’t dead, he couldn’t be. He would save him but that meant they _couldn’t take him away._

It took four people to pry Fen away from Garrett. When they finally did, he continued fighting them, letting out cries of ‘ _no!’_ every now and then. _No, don’t take him away. No, please, don’t move him. No, please, help me save him. No no no no no no no._

“It’s alright, Fen. It’s alright. It’s me!” A woman’s voice soothed.

Finally, Fen stopped fighting and looked at the person who had finally pulled him away from Garrett. He saw orange hair first, tied back as usual. Green eyes. Pale skin with a splash of freckles. Ava.

All at once, Fen’s composure dissolved. He let out another anguished cry, choking on the sob that escaped his body. Ava took him into her arms, holding him tightly to her. He clung to her, needing comfort that no one would actually be able to give. Garrett was gone and he wasn’t coming back. Ever. An emptiness began to fill Fen’s chest—a void that threatened to swallow him whole.

“Shh, Fen, I’m here. I’m here.” Ava soothed, running her hand over Fen’s long, white hair.

Ava held him as he cried. How long they sat there was beyond him. When he finally wasn’t crying anymore, he pulled back away from Ava. She cast worried eyes over Fen’s features before saying, “I need to know what happened, Fen.”

Anger filled Fen and he looked up at Ava, his nose crinkling, “What the fuck do you think happened, Ava? Garrett is—he’s fucking dead, okay? Some bitch working for Dani killed him.”

Ava sighed, standing and offering a hand to Fen, “There’s no use talking here. Let’s get you home to get some rest, okay?”

_Bang._

Fen looked at Ava, studied her for a long while before finally taking her hand and allowing her to help him up. He glanced away from her, “Thanks, Ava, but that won’t be necessary. I’ll find my own way home.”

Ava raised an eyebrow, curious, but didn’t press further. She knew the mood Fen had fallen in and knew not to question him when his mind was made up. After a moment, she nodded, “Suit yourself. You have my number if you need me. I’ll call Carver and let him know.”

Fen nodded, accepting her proposal. He turned on his heel, marching away from her, pointedly ignoring the pool of blood in the middle of the sidewalk. He walked to the ambulance, coming to the stretcher that they had Garrett on already. His body was wrapped in a black bag, partially unzipped still. _Dead on arrival_ he heard someone say. Fen stared at Garrett for a long time, studying his still face. With the black bag zipped far enough to cover Garrett’s chest, it was easy for Fen to pretend that Garrett was only sleeping.

“I love you, Garrett Hawke,” Fen whispered at last, leaning down to press his lips to Garrett’s forehead. His skin was cold already—colder than anything ought to be. Fen shuddered, whispering against Garrett’s forehead, “Forgive me, my love.”

With that, he turned his back on Garrett. With every step he took away from Garrett, hate began to take the place of the emptiness in his heart. Hatred for the red-headed girl. Hatred for the person he knew had sent her. Hatred for a past he would never escape. Hatred for himself and not being able to save Garrett—for being the reason he was shot in the first place.

He knew what had to be done.

* * *

They hadn’t been far from Fen’s apartment when the girl had intercepted him, so he was home within minutes. The place was trashed, as usual—he could never find the motivation to clean something that would only be dirty again moments later. Garrett had never minded, had even cleaned the place for him on occasion. _Guess this place is going to be trashed forever now._

Fen worked quickly, moving to grab the gun he kept in his dresser drawer by his bed. He checked to make sure it was loaded, that the safety was on for the moment. When the gun appeased his inspection, he tucked it into the back of his jeans. Thankfully, he’d been wearing his black jeans and a black t-shirt so that the stain Garrett’s blood had left on them was barely visible. He couldn’t find it in himself to change.

He walked to the bathroom, grabbing a hair band and tying his hair back in a neat braid. Normally, Garrett braided his hair for him. It was something Fen had fought him about at first—insisting he could braid his own hair when it had started getting long enough to—but ultimately Garrett had won in the end. _Now I’ll have to learn for myself again._

Fen sighed, closing his eyes and bracing himself for the wave of pain that hit him. Garrett was gone and he was never coming back. Bile rose in Fen’s throat again and this time he let it come, running to the toilet to throw up over and over again.

When at last his stomach was empty and there was nothing left, Fen wiped his mouth and stood. His hands were shaking, his body weak. He took a few deep breaths to steady himself, then rinsed his mouth with water to get the leftover bile out of his mouth. When he finally regained his composure, he walked to the front door and grabbed a thin black jacket from his coat hanger. He wrapped the jacket loosely around himself, concealing the gun he held in his jeans, and left his apartment.

The night air was cool against his face. He walked quickly through the run-down streets, acutely aware of his surroundings. He remembered the way to Dani’s hideout well—he had practically grown up there. When he got near, there were a few members of Dani’s gang hanging around the entrance. They all turned their attention to him when he approached. When they registered who was coming, they stood, eyes narrowed.

“What are you doing here, Fen?” one that Fen hardly recognized asked.

“I’m here to see Dani. She sent for me, after all,” Fen said, indifferent.

The men cast nervous glances at one another. They had to know what had happened, what that bitch had done. He narrowed his eyes, daring them to challenge him.

His reputation still preceded him. Years as Dani’s personal body guard had instilled fear even in her own men. They nodded at him, moving out of his way, allowing him to pass into their hideout.

He walked slowly, trying not to draw attention to himself—it didn’t work. Everyone here still knew who he was, knew that he had deserted. Yet here he was, walking straight into the lion’s den.

He found Dani sitting comfortably in a room full of people. When he entered the room, everyone turned to him. Smiles faded, replaced instantly by distrustful glares. Dani turned her attention slowly to him, a malicious smile on her face.

“Well, look who it is, everyone! Welcome back, _my little wolf._ ”

Fen scowled at her, “You know why I’m here.”

“Ah, yes, yes, your boyfriend. What was his name again? Gary?”

“ _Garrett._ ” Fen growled. She didn’t even deserve to say his name, but the fact that she didn’t even know it irritated him beyond belief.

“Ahhh, Garrett… So sorry about him. It was just supposed to be a warning shot, something to scare you. The real fun was to come later. I can’t help that the idiot _got in the way,_ ” Dani sneered. She knew what she was doing to Fen. She had a knack of getting under his skin in a way no one else could. She continued, “You know the penalty for desertion, Fen. I was going to ask you to come back, to give you another chance. But you were always with him. I had to find a way to get you two apart somehow. I just didn’t know that Vee would be so…efficient.”

Fen’s heart stopped. Vee? _Vee was the one that did this?_

Dani’s smile widened, and she flicked her hand towards the other guests in the room. “Leave us,” she commanded, and everyone obliged without question or complaint. Dani sat back in her chair, giving the impression of relaxation, “You didn’t know who it was?”

Fen remained silent, clenching his hands into fists to keep them still. _There’s no way.._

“Vee, honey, come here. Come see your brother,” Dani said, not taking her eyes from Fen.

A movement in the corner of the room caught Fen’s attention. He turned his eyes to the shadow, and when a figure emerged, his heart stopped.

“Hello, Brother,” Vee said.

Fen thought he had felt pain when Garrett died in his arms. He thought that he had felt what it was to be alone then, but he had been mistaken. Now he knew he was truly alone.

“How could you?” Fen asked through clenched teeth. He had thrown away his life when he joined with Dani. He had done it to protect Vee and his mother. And now Vee was exactly where Fen had been running away from. She was Dani’s new “pet”.

“I wasn’t going to kill him. I was going to fire past both of you. He’s the one that decided to try to protect you and stepped _into_ the bullet.”

Fen shook his head, “Not that. You.. You’re..”

Dani laughed, and Fen felt his stomach clench. He had once lived for that laugh. Now the sound only sickened him.

“Yes, Fen, Vee is _mine_ now. Jealous?” Dani sneered.

Fen shook his head, “I’m glad to be rid of you.”

“My dear pet, you’ll never be rid of me. I’ve spent so long chasing you and now here you are, right back where I need you!”

Fen shook his head, steadying himself. Not only was Garrett dead, but he had lost his family to Dani, as well. The pain was almost too much to bear.

_Bang._

Fenris’s head snapped up and he narrowed his eyes, taking the gun front his jeans. He saw Dani’s eyes widen in surprise, but she didn’t have time to defend herself before Fen fired. He had earned the title of her guardian for a reason—a reason that served him well now. His bullet found its target easily, killing Dani instantly by hitting her between her eyes.

When he saw Dani fall, he turned his attention to his sister. Her expression turned from surprise to anger—full blown hatred. She reached behind her—presumably to grab a gun of her own.

_Bang._

Fen’s shot found its mark again, hitting Vee in the chest. He missed her heart intentionally, wanting instead for her to bleed out. As Garrett had done because of her. Slowly, he walked over to her, hovering over her. She looked at him, blood dripping from her mouth, a look of anger still plastered on her face.

“I would have given you everything,” Fen whispered, and Vee’s face went slack.

The room was empty now, quiet. No one had come yet, surprisingly enough. Fen acknowledged his advantage and ran from the room—somehow managing to avoid the people he had met prior. When Fen found his way out of the building, he began to hear shouts and doors slamming open. People were finally on his trail, but it was too late.

Fen ran for what seemed like an eternity. He had nowhere to go. He couldn’t go home—there were too many memories of Garrett there. There were too many memories of him everywhere.

Before he knew it, he found himself standing outside of Ava’s office in the police station.

_Kiss it all better… I’m not ready to go._

Fen closed his eyes against the painful images threatening to take him. Regaining himself, he entered Ava’s office. She stood immediately, a look of concern on her face, “Fen? Is everything alright?”

“I killed Dani,” Fen stated, looking at Ava. “And Vee. Vee was the one that killed—“

“You don’t have to say it,” Ava said, cutting him off. Her face was unreadable as she continued, “Fen, I know you’re hurting, but you’re confessing a murder. To me, the captain of the police force. I would defend you with my life, but I can’t excuse murder. I—I just—“

“I know, Ava. It’s okay. I’ll come without a fight.”

“Why did you do it? You know I could have gone with you. Helped you. I could have arrested them and had them locked away.”

 “Because that wasn’t enough, Ava. They took him from me. I wouldn’t have been able to live otherwise.”

“You could have,” Ava pressed, angry. “I could have helped you. You’ve given me no choice now, Fen.”

Fen lowered his eyes. Ava sighed, walking up to him and touching his arm. He let her lead him to one of the holding cells. Once inside, he walked over to the bed and laid down.

_Bang._

Memories coursed through Fen’s mind—a gentle caress, a whisper in the night, a voice that soothed his deepest wounds. He would never have those again. Garrett was gone and he was never coming back.

_Bang._

Garrett was gone and he was never coming back.

_Bang._

Garrett was gone.

_Bang._

He was never coming back.

_Bang._

Fen was alone, would always be alone.

_Bang._

**Author's Note:**

> And that's all, folks! I hope everyone enjoyed this (as painful as it was). Leave comments and kudos, I'd love to hear what everyone thinks.


End file.
